Parents are going to go dumpster diving while I am at work to see if they can find my coin purse. Am suddenly scheduled a ca-jillion hosting shifts. Which if you recall is what I wanted. Except for that it’s like two of the other hosts have requested off a week and a half and the other two weeks. So it’s this circle of going back to vacation, and how everyone else takes it, but me. I just want a weekend at the beach or something, where I lay on the beach for more than 3 hours and don’t have to wear a face or be the new girl. Just me time. That’s the point of vacation, right? And if I don’t get that at least not necessarily have to host. Or if I have to host then train me for to-gos. And if you aren’t going to do that, at least don’t tell me that you aren’t because I’m working another job which makes it so I work 40+ hours a week and don’t even always get 1 day off. I mean my life isn’t hard. That’s not the point here. It’s that everything I have chosen to do is unrewarding. And maybe that’s just it. I’ve gotten myself into all this shit, and it’s so unrewarding. I try and reward myself, but a new shirt or pair of shoes doesn’t always cut it. Sometimes an advancement or verbal-praise is needed. I just fucking want a gold star and kiss on my for-head for working damn-hard. And I don’t get it. 

Wow, my blogs like the emo blog now.

Like looking on Craigslist for jobs. About You:

Between the ages of 18 - 29 and RELIABLE
Sexy, Petite, Open-Minded, Adventurous Female
Someone who is positive, motivated and trust worthy.

Great $$$ opportunity for new ladies !!
If you are beautiful and petite with a winning personality
WE WANT YOU!

No Experience Necessary!!!!

Please send a recent photo(s) of yourself. The photo should
include your face & body shot that is clear and sexy in nature. 
Location: Phoenix/Scottsdale

• Compensation: $1000-2000 wkly

Well, I know you’re not respecting yourself as a woman in this job to make 1-2 grand a week, but really, can I just make $200 a shift already??

And then my boss says tonight he’d train me in take-out if I wasn’t at the pool. Like, WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER IF I LEARN TAKE-OUT DURING THE SAME TIME I AM FUCKING WORKING AT THE POOL??? WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER. Do they realize I used to fucking take carry out orders by phone before we even fucking had the call center?? Because I did. For probably 2 years. Do they realize that I am not a server and understand the computer system and the back? Like why do they think I even need to be trained? Like I just. Do. Not. Understand.

And really I don’t understand life. How do the kids who did nothing but go to school, who didn’t work or do anything outside of school get to go on a sweet vacation? or even multiple sweet vacations. And here I am working during school and all summer, and do I get to take a vacation, just a plain road trip it to California in 6 hours? Do I get to go on an even a remotely cool vacation as in leave the country or go aboard a ship or something cool? NOPE. How is that fair??

And now I have some random $120 sitting in my checking account that wasn’t there this morning when I cashed my check. I do not even understand my life right now.

And to top it off. It says it was added 05/29/12. That day has not even occurred yet. Today is 05/26/12. I think I am dreaming…

I think I threw the coin purse that was my wallet away yesterday. Which is awesome. This is just what I wanted to realize at the end of my 14 hours day and have hanging above my head the next two days I work. No money, no ID, no debit card. I can replace all those, but what a pain in the ass. And I’m digging around for my credit card. Can’t find that. Can’t find my old wallet. I’m starving, the last time I ate was 11 hours ago and it was the worst meal of my life but my mom said it would “hold me over until I ate tonight.” Well, not wallet, so I couldn’t eat because I had no form of money. It’s just all around awesome. I’m really loving it. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

That moment when your boss tells you he has been waiting for you to step up and take over the books for the last 2 years and how you finally did.

At first I’m like…

So as he tells me this, my face just kind of looks like…

 Mind. Blown. Mentally, I am going through this shock. Like wtf? What about Sara? And the one time you wanted Dorothy to run the books? Like what?? And now you are proud that I finally stepped up? What I feel like I’ve been trying to do since Sam left, like basically 2 years ago this month?? How can you be saying this?! Let’s just pay me $12 an hour, which is more than the average tips I make per hour serving half the time (because I suck) and I’ll just fucking host the rest of my life. Or you know, the next few years at least. 

But, to him, I just smile and am like…

Whatevs. NBD. I am a boss. We’ll see what I got up my sleeve tonight. Step aside, bitches.

But then, in my head I’m like…

Picturing things to come. I’m the HBIC.

Which is why using Miranda Priestly in the Devil Wears Prada was only appropriate for this explanation using gifs.