I have the most inflexible boyfriend in the world… Apparently an extra 45 minutes in the morning is too much to ask for. We HAVE to leave for Sedona at 7:45 because 8:30 is too ridiculous.
My thoughts on work at this point:
My day off
fitgirlprblms: Intentions: Reality:
iamaserver: WHAT MOST PEOPLE CONSIDER A HAPPY HOUR: WHAT I CONSIDER A HAPPY HOUR: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA SO TRUE.
Me watching Warm Bodies...
Me: Wanted to see this forever.
Me: ...wait she is just following him into zombie land? Wtf?
Me: She wants to go home? Why doesn't she just go the way she came?
Me: Is he really enjoying eating her boyfriend's brains? Gross.
Me: She is on a balcony? He is below... what is this Romeo and Juliet??
Me: OH MY GOD. SHE IS JULIE, HE IS R. LIKE THIS IS ZOMBIE ROMEO AND JULIET.
Me (after R tries to say something human and thinks to himself "nailed it"): Dies of laughter.
Me: That's right, let's just let him bleed out in the water. He's literally lost over a pint of blood, and he's fine. NBD.
Second night in a row:
Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth symbolize power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Are you lacking power in some current situation? Perhaps you are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and...
WHEN I SHOW UP LATE TO WORK EVERY DAY AND I NEVER...
iamaserver: THIS APPLIES TO ME.
When the new girl bitches about the back-waiters...
Looking at his eyes felt like looking into those of a shark with fresh blood in...
Watching The Host...
Me: DA FAQ AM I WATCHING?
Me: Y U WANNA DIE WANDA? CAN'T YOU JUST GET A SILVER THING??
Me: ...Is this over yet?
Me: ...DA FAQ! I STILL HAVE ANOTHER 30 MINUTES LEFT OF THIS??
Me: Really? Does no one notice she is talking to herself?
When my boss wants to sit down and talk about me...
When he says, “Let’s sit down”, I know what’s coming. More pestering. So I try to hide my reaction that looks a little something like: When we sit down, we cut to the chase His reply is something like: In my head, I’m frustrated; inside I’m feeling a little like: But I manage to keep my cool on the outside, and tell him I have to get out of...
How do I know my sister smokes a fucking shit ton...
Because there is a candle on the back of the toilet. Because when I come home from a 9-hour work day, I can smell that distinct smell. And then when I go to use the bathroom, the light is on, window open, and the candle is lit. Because that’s not obvious… Riiiiiiiight.
WHEN I TELL MY FRIENDS THAT I'M OK WORKING 5...
iamaserver: BUT REALISTICALLY: